Brexit: What is Boris Doing?

Boris had a simple plan.

(I will call him Boris from now on as this is the persona he created, his family apparently calls him Al, short for Alexander).

He wanted to be the PM one day all his life and after Theresa May was pushed out, he knew he would get the job because Tory members loved him for his quirky personality and funny haircut.

And the fact that he was massively underqualified. That's a plus in England if you come from the right class background. Eton and Oxbridge.

Notice I said England.

But to make the position permanent he needed to win elections. So his plan was simple. Pretend like you are prone to do something destructive and let others to stop you from doing a Cleavon Little.

His first move was to announce that he would rather be dead in a ditch than to ask for an extension.

Then he double dared Jeremy Corbyn to agree to a pre-Brexit election with the goal of winning it by out-Faraging Nigel Farage and targeting Corbyn as a closeted Remainer.

The proper response to this ploy was to pass the Benn Act and let Boris go through the humiliation to ask for an extension. That didn't sit well with him.

When he leaked his intention to crash out of the EU regardless of Benn Act things unraveled a bit. People started talking about the need for a caretaker government again. Because he couldn't be trusted.

That was stupid because Boris would never go for no-deal Brexit for two reasons.

One that's complicated and he has an even smaller brain than Trump (OK no one has a smaller brain than Trump but you get the point) and he wouldn't want to deal with that.

And two, his legacy would be terrible if that happened. Can you imagine Al, sorry Boris, being known forever be the guy who destroyed the British economy.

Farage isn't posh enough to care about any of that, especially after a couple, well, make that five pints.

Al would. So would his alter-ego Boris.

But he had no other plan.

He kept sending smoke signals about his intention to burn the place down using Uncle Duke as his main conduit. With court rulings and stuff, it got to a point where people started thinking about a unity government to avert a disaster.

All of this predicated on the assumption that the EU would like a deal with the UK and would give in just enough for Boris to claim victory.

Well, they called on his bluff and Macron made it clear he no longer wanted the UK in EU. Nor did Merkel.

Humiliatingly (something no UK media outlet picked up on) he was given a deadline until the end of this week to show that he was serious about a deal or he would be given no extension.

Tellingly, Boris complied. He did a U-turn on his biggest redline which was the backstop. Well, we are not sure about the actual content but the leaks made it sound like he was ready to agree to let the entire Ireland island to stay within the customs union.

I don't understand why media outlets are so gullible. Let's think about it rationally.

The man wants to be a PM. That's a given.

If he signs on a deal that is way worse that Theresa May's doomed agreements he stands no chance to win any elections as Nigel will grab most of the Leave votes.

On the Remain side there is no room. So all he can do is to pretend that he is negotiating and giving up a lot only to reveal at the end that the EU was so amazingly unreasonable and unyielding no deal was possible before the next European Council.

Once the blame game completed, he would ask for an extension as per the Benn Act. He will do so with a pained expression while posing for Murdoch tabloids with "Surrender Act" banners in the background.

And he will call elections and campaign as the hardest Brexiteers that ever was.

If it works, he will come back as a very reasonable man and he might opt for Remain arguing that he might get a better deal from inside.

Remember, he wants to be the PM.

If it doesn't, well that's too bad for the UK, isn't it?